you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
