we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
