Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
