A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize