2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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