I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
