What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
