hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Soap is not a condiment
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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