Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
