Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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