It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
