capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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