He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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