I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
