Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
