i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
