I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
