Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
