dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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