Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
