hotel room ftw
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
