Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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