talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
