I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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