She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Every concussion has its silver lining
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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