So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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