farters have to be the big spoon...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
