dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
