I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
