Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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