very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
