Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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