There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
