Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
