Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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