$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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