and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
