"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have fence marks all over my body
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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