I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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