new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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