I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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