how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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