Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
