I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
