what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
