I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize