doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
there is glitter all over my balls
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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