im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
