3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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