Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Couch. On fire.
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