Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize