I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
