the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
