I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
