i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
