I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You have to summon your inner elephant
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
