I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
