I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
