seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
