How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
