Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
