Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
