You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
