i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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