would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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