then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
only you would photoshop your dick
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
